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State Of Change
2001
Just because i've got no right to be blue doesn't make me happy, happy like you. It's kinda hard when following your heart to find it out on loan to somebody new. Maybe i'm missing something here, maybe just my point of view Push the plunger then stand clear. Burn the bridge before it burns you.
Just because i've got no words for you doesn't mean i've nothing left to say. it's kinda hard to make that follow-through when you've lost yourself along the way. It's cool you think you've got it made, try and help me understand. Pull the pin on that grenade but not before your exit's planned.
happiness is just an old address I used on my last will. Feeling stupid is a skill i've mastered overkill.
All i wanna know is when you will find some time for me and you again. All i wanna say is that i'm in love with you and that my love's a two way game. All i wanna hear is that it's all in my head and that right now it's all okay. And all i wanna know is that you're in love with me and that right now you're on your way.
Whachu gonna do when you find that I am gone and you're in love with me? Whachu gonna do?
I can’t hear you but I clearly see The words that slip from your lips into a vacuous sea. I start to do what I do But never follow it through. Could this be animal lust?
You can’t stop the things you do the best. You just won’t tow the line. It’s only part of the test. I never hear what you say or so you shout everyday. This must be animal lust.
I know I’d reach that state of grace If I could stumble through and maybe somehow erase, But then I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I—
I can’t breathe and yet I thrash about. I wander in and out a process filled with self doubt. I only know what I know. It’s why I’m lost in the glow Of all your animal lust.
This feels like someone else’ life And yet I feel my own with every twist of the knife. It’s when I know, I know, I know, I know I’ve slipped through that crack in the ice.
Time moves away as you groove into your day and rehearse your subtle lines, hoping no one ever finds, which would take the thrill away.
Time wins the meet but vou can't accept defeat, so you tell yourself a lie, looking squarely in your eye, hoping no one ever knows… But it's not supposed to end.
Taking pictures of a world you've rarely seen. Making promises to god and everything. Hoping fruitlessly you'll never have to feel All the miles and miles of life that have passed beneath vour keel.
Time takes vour queen. You were watching but not seeing. So you wince with furled brow. Wondering why but never how as you bluff with your last pawn. Time takes its toll once you've gambled with your soul. Now it's time to pay the price. No you've used that same line twice hoping no one ever knew. Isn't there someone special i can call?
Taking prisoners from the choices i have made. Making Christmas cards from characters i've played. Praying all the way they'll never stop to ask about the Miles and miles of life that have escaped my feeble grasp.
I'm disappearing and it feels like I don't matter anymore. I can't tell you quite exactly what my point is But I can't believe I haven't any Choice here anymore.
I can't offer a solution. I can't even feel my presence here at all. I don't fully understand the implications about suddenly becoming just a shadow on the wall
You can't blame me if I'm feeling kinda lonesome 'cuz you're only used to who I used to be. And I can not comprehend the gravity of what's become of me.
I'm disappearing. I can't see my own reflection anymore. I can't promise but I feel here in this darkness a strange ray of hope, a shard of light that wasn't here before.
I can't tell you why I'm feeling awful lonely but it isn't something I need you to see. I can't call this fun to feel like I'm the only one who fully grasps this comic tragedy.
I'm disappearing. I can hardly hear my inner voice at all. I can't tell you quite exactly what my point is but I've somehow since become a simple shadow on a wall. I'm disappearing. I'm disappearing.
I can bite my tongue again but I don't know if it's wise. The truth is there in your eyes and you keep looking away.
I can take the blame again but I don't know if I should. Whoever thought that I could have ever been so insane?
And I listened for your voice in the muddle of the background noise. In the sirens blaring past that drown away my words and no one heard me. Then I catch a subtle glance of a victim in an ambulance. She's someone that I've seen somewhere in between
I can take my place in line but I don't know if it's right. It's either virtue or vice and I can't tell which is which.
Maybe I should get a job and buy that big telescope, in such an ill-fated hope that I'll remember you by.
And I listened for your voice in the muddle of the background noise. In the sirens blaring past that wipe away my tears and you don't hear me. Then I catch a subtle glance of a victim in an ambulance. She's someone that I've seen Somewhere in between.
A janitor and a homecoming queen are one in the same when they're stuck in between.
It's a long way down no matter which way I go. It's funny how the lonely ones are the last to know... Or so I'm told.
I'm on the corner of Mars and Nowhere and it's getting kind of lonely out here.
There's nothing profound about a barstool in Wyoming. There's nothing profound about me anymore, or so I'm told.
I'm on the edge of my existence, and it isn't looking friendly out here. And I don't think I'll ever see you again my friend. 31st and Mars is where my story ends.
I'm on the corner of Mars and Nowhere and it's getting kind of empty out here. I don't think I'll ever see you again my friend.
I remember a time when I could Walk outside and find my place in the sun. Now it seems that I’ve lost that dream and I have traded away the only thing that registers as fun.
I don’t know what the future holds but I can tell that it’s gonna be fine. I don’t know why I know anything but I know that I’m wasting your time. But you never seem to mind.
I remember a place where I could show my face and never have to pretend. Now I find that I’ve crossed some line, and I am working through getting over you but it never seems to end.
I don’t know what the future holds but I cant tell that it’s gonna be fine. I don’t know why I know anything but I know that I’m wasting your time. But you never seem to mind. You just carry on the lie.
I don’t know what the future holds but I cant tell you I know why...
I don’t know what the future holds but I cant tell that it’s gonna be fine. I don’t know why I know anything but I can tell that I’m wasting time.
I don’t know what the future holds but I cant tell that it’s gonna be fine. I don’t know why I know anything but I can tell that I’m wasting my time. Oh well, never mind.
You better get together, better understand why you never know why. Cuz it's a lonely world at night and you just won't try.
You better get in touch with it, you better see right from wrong this time. Cuz it's a lonely world tonight and you just don't...
Try. It's a nowhere feeling inside, oh I... I just wish that you'd give it a try.
You better get in focus, better start to see right between the lines. Cuz it's an awful long way back home and you just try.
You better get a grip on it, you better get Right with me this time. Cuz it's an awful long way to run when you just won't...
Try. It's a nowhere feeling inside, oh I... I just wish that you'd give it a try. I know something that I think you better know. I know something you don't know.
You think you'd know by now I know you lied. I know you better than that. I know you don't even - Anyway I know that you lied. I don't know why. I don't know why I still try.
You better tell the truth. You better start to stop tellin' your little white lies. Cuz it's an awful thin margin of trust when you just don't...
Try. It's a nowhere feeling inside, oh I... I just wish that you'd give it a try. You just won't try.
It’s a simple ride. Is it suicide? You can’t recall your words but you remember when. You gave away what you wouldn’t save. You forgot but it’s clear never quite forgave. Like the foolish falibility of a birthday at an old friend’s grave.
It’s the simple truth that’s got you so confused. You can’t define the line you drew. Was it something that you needed to? Pretend your fear isn’t valid here as you shield your face to conceal a tear. But we’ve come full circle now and now there’s nothing left for you to do.
But then you find that the feeling is the first to fade. As the healing starts to wash away the pain. And you climb up the hillside of who you are. And who you are defines your state of change. Your state of change... Is the only change.
I don’t know why I don’t care. Well, it sometimes seems like there’s nothing here to mark my way.
An’ I don’t know why I don’t like it. Well I sometimes wish there was so much more that I could say.
Could it be another shot at failure? Another stab in the dark? Or in the small of the back, now that I’m so out of whack?
I don’t know why I’m not happy. I got all the things that happy people strive their whole lives to have.
An’ I don’t know why I can’t smile. I tried to smile a week ago. I felt my face begin to crack.
Is it just another shot at failure? Another stab in the dark? It’s in the still of the night that it doesn’t seem quite right
Brian Buel - guitars and lead vocals
Jimmy Carire - piano, organ, baritone sax, string and horn arrangements
Glade Rasmussen - bass
Jim Christie - drums
Lunn Coulter - percussion
Jeff Elliott - trumpet, flügelhorn
Craig Woods - trombone
Kirstin Fife - violin
Novi Novog - viola
Stephanie Fife - cello
John & Annie Barbour - backing vocals
Jeff Sherman solo guitar on “Happy Like You”
Kenneth Francis - drums, percussion on “Iʼm Disappearing” and “Try”
All songs written and produced by Brian Buel
Additionally Produced by Jeff Cowan and Glade Rasmussen
Co-produced by Jimmy Calire
Recorded by Jeff Cowan at Goldmine Recording Studios, Ventura, CA
Mixed by Wally Grant at Oasis Digital, Hollywood, CA
“Try” and “Iʼm Disappearing” recorded & mixed by Kenneth Francis
at Babijiʼs Cave, Studio City, CA
Mastered by Steve Hall at Future Disc Systems, Hollywood, CA
All Songs coptyright 2000 by Brian Buel
You Call This Music (ASCAP)